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Being a Vampire Sucks

Friday, June 22, 2012

biteI will never understand the fascination people have with vampires.  I mean, what is so great about being undead? Maybe it is the living forever thing that people like.  Or maybe it is the only going out at night thing….but I can imagine that getting old pretty quick after about 200 years.  It definitely can’t be the blood drinking thing…especially nowadays with all the diseases you need to worry about.  Whatever the reason, people seem to not be able to get enough of the vampire lifestyle. 

In fact, one woman in Denver, Colorado decided to try the vampire thing out for herself.  She snuck up behind 2 people at a local convenience story and after groping them, bit them each on the neck.  Now we aren’t sure what the groping had to do with anything, but getting bit on the neck has got to suck….no pun intended….actually it was a little.  Anyway, the woman will be spending the next 30 days in jail without the chance of a bail bond for her little taste test.  She will also receive 60 days home confinement upon her release from jail as well as be required to receive a mental evaluation and undergo anger management.  Lastly, just as a precaution, the judge also ordered her to spend at least an hour a day in direct sunlight…just to make sure she really wasn’t a vampire.  Okay, that really didn’t happen, I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.  See the original story below.

Original story:  Denver neck-biter gets a month in jail